I'm all alone, sitting on the couch, watching Jane Austen's Emma on my husband's ridiculously (and deliciously) big screen TV. I've just eaten the biggest bowl of cheerios for dinner (very Seinfeld) and it's so pleasantly perfect. My family is off gallivanting around the state enjoying their wonderful day...all to my great pleasure. Now, don't get me wrong...I love, love, love my husband and children. But, I'll let you in on a little secret...I love being home alone. Tonight I am pretending to not have anything else to do so I can just sit and enjoy my solitude. Aaaaghh, the quiet is intoxicating. I encourage all of busy people out there who are never alone in your own home to make haste...time's a wasting. Schedule some fun for your loved ones...make up an excuse to stay home (let me know if you need help coming up with one)...and enjoy whatever amount of time you have (in your own home) doing whatever makes you happy. Here are a few activity (or sans activity) ideas to get you started...
1. spend 15 minutes napping on each bed in your home...this prepares you for number 2
2. take a wonderfully long, rejuvenating nap in the most comfy bed in the house
3. place every pillow from the house on the floor -- create your own oasis of leisure, comfy blankets only add to the effect
4. store up your favorite shows and movies on DVD or DVR to ensure viewing pleasure the second the front door closes on your family
5. play all those video games your kids (and spouse) play and you never take the time to -- they are fun...plus, you'll seem really cool when you can talk about their favorite games
6. do a puzzle (without "help" from the family)
7. order in even if it's not time to eat -- it's "kind of" like having someone else cook for you and you get to pick what you want with no giving in to anyone else
8. read a book or get a book on audiotape and let the book read to you
Okay, start planning now...because between you and me...I am in alone-time heaven. So, finagle some time and come up with your most luxuriously lazy alone-time non-activity.
Sorry, gotta run...got some me-time on the agenda. And, remember, it's just between you and me.
January 29, 2010
Whoever said no more excuses never met me...
My sister and I decided to work out together. Yes, she lives over 120 miles away! But, I decided I can't do it by myself...I'm so not motivated to work out. And, yes, I know I'm a certified fitness instructor...this rubs it in even more that I can get others to exercise, but not myself. Since I don't have anyone here to work out with, I asked my sister to work out with me. She agreed...hooray! We haven't figured out the logistics, but it basically means we will hold each other accountable. I need someone to get on me to work out...and, it can't be my husband. He has an innate ability to work out on his own...this drives me crazy! I would rather scrub the bathroom toilet than go work out. Don't get me wrong...I know the importance of exercise and I feel great while I'm doing it. But, the getting there is so hard! I kept thinking that a treadmill in our house was the answer, but I think it would just collect dust, or clothing, or become a plaything for the kids. That's a lot of $$ to spend on a clothes rack. So, I am back to the gym....aaargh! I went on Wednesday night and had a great run with some weights and plyometrics. It's now Friday and I so don't want to go. The time is quickly creeping nearer and already my head is full of excuses why I shouldn't go. Here's a few I've considered...
* It's 9 degrees outside -- a sweaty body out in this cold could cause major illness or even death!
* I have so much to do -- laundry, dishes, writing lesson plans, a toilet to scrub
* I forgot my water bottle -- the time it takes to continuously refuel my body with water at a drinking fountain negates the time I would actually be exercising
* I forgot my iPod -- leaving me the impossible decision of which cable channel to watch on my very own tv screen on my treadmill -- an endless decision that would, again, negate the time I would be there
* My butt is so comfy right here -- it's a lot of work to go exercise -- there's the standing up, putting on my coat, getting in the car, parking, walking into the gym, pushing the automatic door button, putting my coat in a locker, pushing the elevator button for the third floor (why take the stairs when there's an elevator?), actually doing the exercise, and then repeating the process...so much work--ugh!
* I might strain a muscle -- which means I wouldn't be able to fully participate in this weekend's activities with my family
* I might meet some hunky man working out who decides he needs to take me to Jamaica for a romantic getaway leaving my family in the lurch till he leaves me high and dry for another woman -- what would my family do without me until I return?
Oh, the reasons NOT to work out far outweigh the reasons TO work out. But, then I'd have to lie to my sister (which I am very good at, btw) about exercising and that would negate the whole "will you work out with me" thing we've set up. Ugh! What's a lazy girl to do? I know. I know...ugh -- fine...I'll just go work out. But, only because I have to...not because I want to!
*************3 hours later***************
I did it...under duress and only because I had to. I believe I broke my toe, my throat is parched, I must have pulled at least 145 muscles, I'm dehydrated, won't be able to move at all tomorrow and will need at least a week to recuperate. So, I hope you're happy. I did it. And, now until next time...I'm off to think of more excuses.
* It's 9 degrees outside -- a sweaty body out in this cold could cause major illness or even death!
* I have so much to do -- laundry, dishes, writing lesson plans, a toilet to scrub
* I forgot my water bottle -- the time it takes to continuously refuel my body with water at a drinking fountain negates the time I would actually be exercising
* I forgot my iPod -- leaving me the impossible decision of which cable channel to watch on my very own tv screen on my treadmill -- an endless decision that would, again, negate the time I would be there
* My butt is so comfy right here -- it's a lot of work to go exercise -- there's the standing up, putting on my coat, getting in the car, parking, walking into the gym, pushing the automatic door button, putting my coat in a locker, pushing the elevator button for the third floor (why take the stairs when there's an elevator?), actually doing the exercise, and then repeating the process...so much work--ugh!
* I might strain a muscle -- which means I wouldn't be able to fully participate in this weekend's activities with my family
* I might meet some hunky man working out who decides he needs to take me to Jamaica for a romantic getaway leaving my family in the lurch till he leaves me high and dry for another woman -- what would my family do without me until I return?
Oh, the reasons NOT to work out far outweigh the reasons TO work out. But, then I'd have to lie to my sister (which I am very good at, btw) about exercising and that would negate the whole "will you work out with me" thing we've set up. Ugh! What's a lazy girl to do? I know. I know...ugh -- fine...I'll just go work out. But, only because I have to...not because I want to!
*************3 hours later***************
I did it...under duress and only because I had to. I believe I broke my toe, my throat is parched, I must have pulled at least 145 muscles, I'm dehydrated, won't be able to move at all tomorrow and will need at least a week to recuperate. So, I hope you're happy. I did it. And, now until next time...I'm off to think of more excuses.
January 24, 2010
To "do" or not to "do"
I'm sitting at my desk looking out the window into the darkness of the late night. I can see the dim outline of our neighbor's home backlit by a dark snow-sky. I've been pining about not having the time to write more. So much to do, so little time...a to-do list a mile long. My neighbor also has a to-do list...and all the time in the world to get it done. He is retired and still young. He goes fishing, hunting, out with friends, volunteers, spends countless hours keeping his yard and home above par, and I envy him every bit for his freedom. I envy the sheer time he has to while away cutting his lawn, raking his roof, reading the paper...aagh, the life. Or, is it? I wish everyday for more time...for my family and friends, to work on my house, to shovel, to read, to vacuum. But, what would I do with more time? I would fill it with something else. I spent last semester in class four nights a week. When that was over my family was elated to have me home. And, somewhere between then and now, I've filled up three of my newfound free nights and Saturday morning. What I realize is that freedom to me is more than just free time...it's the ability to participate, to engage with others, to "do". If I spend the day "stuck" at home I go crazy...well, more like moody (just ask my husband). I get cranky thinking about all of the things we could or should be doing. That doesn't mean I don't have days at home. It means that I have been having more cranky days lately. I am a better person when I'm on the move. I was so much more productive when I was going to school full-time and working full-time. When there's no extra time, there's no time to waste. But, is sitting at home a waste of time? Is it okay to just hang out with my family, never bothering to get out of our pj's? Of course! Sometimes our body, mind, and spirit needs time to shut off. The to-do list isn't going to get done anytime soon, the snow will still be there...or, better yet, will fall again as soon as it gets shoveled. The grass can wait for mowing. Another day with a dirty toilet will not harm us. So, why can't I just let go? Ugh! I watch my neighbor and seethe envy at his continuous "doing" and pine away for the day I'll be able to do that. But, there are trade offs. His children no longer live with him, he's alone most of the day, and he is the only one there to get things done. My house may be a mess, my to-do list a mile long, my blog gathering dust...but they are mine. And, they can wait till tomorrow...it's time to snuggle with my kids :-)
January 7, 2010
Procrastinate with me!!
Since the weather has interrupted my 2-day travel plans (first total bummer), I'm resigned to spend this time studying for my licensing test on Saturday. Studying = Second total bummer... But, before I get started, I'm sure there are a few things I "need" to do...
- kids off to school - cereal - load of laundry - check facebook - shower (and a shave just in case I have to go to the emergency room; you never know!) - brush teeth - check facebook, again - straighten study area (good studying is organized studying) - warm blanket (gets cold sitting on my arse) - put away some Christmas decorations - check facebook, again (gotta keep up with my peeps) - And, finally, put on my super-study-rific, warm and cozy, oh so cuddly, fluffy socks (can't study with cold feet!)
Okay, so I'm ready...Or, am I? I'm sure there is something else that MUST be done before I can study. Studying is not nearly as important as, say, brushing the cobwebs from the ceiling. Who can study knowing that there are creapy crawlies hanging above? Oh, my. Is that the mail carrier? Can't leave the mail sitting out in the cold. The carrier has trudged through snow, sleet, ice, rain, and blazing heat to get me those bills and junk mail. I owe it to him to put my studying aside to go to the mailbox.
Okay, ready to study. No, wait...hold on...[run to bathroom and glide on some deoderant. A studying girl NEEDS to be dry and smelling good].
Okay, NOW I'm ready study. Well, maybe after I...
Okay, so I'm ready...Or, am I? I'm sure there is something else that MUST be done before I can study. Studying is not nearly as important as, say, brushing the cobwebs from the ceiling. Who can study knowing that there are creapy crawlies hanging above? Oh, my. Is that the mail carrier? Can't leave the mail sitting out in the cold. The carrier has trudged through snow, sleet, ice, rain, and blazing heat to get me those bills and junk mail. I owe it to him to put my studying aside to go to the mailbox.
Okay, ready to study. No, wait...hold on...[run to bathroom and glide on some deoderant. A studying girl NEEDS to be dry and smelling good].
Okay, NOW I'm ready study. Well, maybe after I...
January 4, 2010
It can be wacky being a grown-up
I re-read my first blog post the other day. Wow, I really am wackadoo. But, more importantly, I came away from it feeling like I need to refocus. The wackadoo world we live in is supposed to be fun and light-hearted. Instead, the wackadoo world has gotten kind of serious and adult-like. I admit the past few months were intense. I was very busy with school and work and was hit in the heart with some serious life-altering realizations. But, I let them muddy up the great parts of life.
What I realize is that being an adult can be pretty sucky sometimes. A young person I know was in a really big hurry to grow up. She graduated from high school a semester early in an attempt to be an adult. She so wanted to move into the world...I think it was more of that youthful "I can't wait to do whatever I want to do" idea of what adulthood means. I kept telling her that adulthood is difficult; there are responsibilities. From her perspective it was all about staying up all night, hanging with friends, playing video games all day instead of going to class. This was her idea of adulthood. Even for an 18-year old this seems pretty naive.
As my blog posts moved away from the silliness of life and into the seriousness of life, I've been considering...what is adulthood? When did I cross the threshold? Have I, yet?
What I've deduced is that, while I'm still evolving, I'm constantly being thrust into adult-like situations but still yearning to recapture some of the "youth" I feel I missed growing up. Adulthood is not an age so much as it is actions or thoughts that put your own needs behind the needs of those who depend on you or those that are vested in your life...children, siblings, colleagues, parents. Choosing a path in life because it is in the best interest of your family is an adult behavior. Graduating from school early to live off your parent so that you can hang with your friends all night and sleep all day is slacker youth behavior.
I say this and it sounds judgmental. It is. It also sounds like being adult is a superior state of being. It isn't. I already stated that being an adult can be sucky. It's true. There are some days I lay in bed overwhelmed with the day ahead of me...a day packed with school, kids, work, laundry, bills. But, then I throw off the covers and roll out of bed knowing that the world may be packed with to-do lists but they are mine to handle as I may. Some days that means I get a little adult-serious. But, most often, I take them in stride knowing that life is short and adult-serious gets boring really fast. I have learned over the past few months that I can be responsible and a little wacky in the process...okay, a LOT wacky.
What I realize is that being an adult can be pretty sucky sometimes. A young person I know was in a really big hurry to grow up. She graduated from high school a semester early in an attempt to be an adult. She so wanted to move into the world...I think it was more of that youthful "I can't wait to do whatever I want to do" idea of what adulthood means. I kept telling her that adulthood is difficult; there are responsibilities. From her perspective it was all about staying up all night, hanging with friends, playing video games all day instead of going to class. This was her idea of adulthood. Even for an 18-year old this seems pretty naive.
As my blog posts moved away from the silliness of life and into the seriousness of life, I've been considering...what is adulthood? When did I cross the threshold? Have I, yet?
What I've deduced is that, while I'm still evolving, I'm constantly being thrust into adult-like situations but still yearning to recapture some of the "youth" I feel I missed growing up. Adulthood is not an age so much as it is actions or thoughts that put your own needs behind the needs of those who depend on you or those that are vested in your life...children, siblings, colleagues, parents. Choosing a path in life because it is in the best interest of your family is an adult behavior. Graduating from school early to live off your parent so that you can hang with your friends all night and sleep all day is slacker youth behavior.
I say this and it sounds judgmental. It is. It also sounds like being adult is a superior state of being. It isn't. I already stated that being an adult can be sucky. It's true. There are some days I lay in bed overwhelmed with the day ahead of me...a day packed with school, kids, work, laundry, bills. But, then I throw off the covers and roll out of bed knowing that the world may be packed with to-do lists but they are mine to handle as I may. Some days that means I get a little adult-serious. But, most often, I take them in stride knowing that life is short and adult-serious gets boring really fast. I have learned over the past few months that I can be responsible and a little wacky in the process...okay, a LOT wacky.
January 2, 2010
A big year behind us. A big year ahead of us.
Finished. Over. Done. The End. December 31...the last day of the year. Time for reflection, regrets, and "should have done's." There's no turning back...no do-overs. What have I done with my year? What should I have done with these 365 days?
It's been just over 24 hours since last year. The difference in me--in my outlook--makes those hours seem like a completely different century. My family arrived home about 12:45am after a nice evening with friends welcoming in the new year. I started this post about 10:30pm and my focus was the regrets...The first five words speak well to my feelings at the "end" of 2009.
Yesterday was the last day of my job. It was a temporary job, I was more of a place marker, a holder. I was helping out while I finished my last semester of class-time. I knew this; I just didn't realize how much I would love it. It was harder to walk away than I imagined. So, yesterday I was focusing on the end of something great.
That--was yesterday. Today is the first day...a new beginning, a fresh start. The beginning of a new year. Thankfully, I am an old person and wasn't able to stay awake long enough to post the "negative nancy-ness" I would have said yesterday. This morning I was a much different person. I now have a clear head...well, as clear as my head can ever get.
This has been an incredible year of challenges, excitement, fulfillment, and amazing personal growth. My heart and mind have been stretched beyond anything I could have imagined.
So, cheers to a new and exciting year. Here's to moving forward, to blessings and happiness in 2010. This new year--the year I get my teaching license; the year I get my life back; the year I get my family back; the year I start paying off my student loans...oh, wait...that's not a positive thing. But, there are plenty of other positive things. I am truly blessed and look forward to an incredible new year.
It's been just over 24 hours since last year. The difference in me--in my outlook--makes those hours seem like a completely different century. My family arrived home about 12:45am after a nice evening with friends welcoming in the new year. I started this post about 10:30pm and my focus was the regrets...The first five words speak well to my feelings at the "end" of 2009.
Yesterday was the last day of my job. It was a temporary job, I was more of a place marker, a holder. I was helping out while I finished my last semester of class-time. I knew this; I just didn't realize how much I would love it. It was harder to walk away than I imagined. So, yesterday I was focusing on the end of something great.
That--was yesterday. Today is the first day...a new beginning, a fresh start. The beginning of a new year. Thankfully, I am an old person and wasn't able to stay awake long enough to post the "negative nancy-ness" I would have said yesterday. This morning I was a much different person. I now have a clear head...well, as clear as my head can ever get.
This has been an incredible year of challenges, excitement, fulfillment, and amazing personal growth. My heart and mind have been stretched beyond anything I could have imagined.
So, cheers to a new and exciting year. Here's to moving forward, to blessings and happiness in 2010. This new year--the year I get my teaching license; the year I get my life back; the year I get my family back; the year I start paying off my student loans...oh, wait...that's not a positive thing. But, there are plenty of other positive things. I am truly blessed and look forward to an incredible new year.
December 21, 2009
Undo
Hearing some noises and comments of frustration, I asked my office mate what was challenging her. "I just get so frustrated," she said. "I accidentally deleted what I was working on. I don't even know how I did it and now I have to start all over." I asked if the undo button wasn't working. "The undo button?" Learning about the undo button changed her life. All the time she had wasted fixing and redoing when she could have just clicked undo. And, so I think, what if there was an "undo" for life's mistakes--life's choices?
For the small stuff, there may be some discomfort--an apology, a return trip to the store "no, there's nothing wrong with it. I just changed my mind." But, what about the big stuff? What about when you make a choice in life only to find out that it wasn't the right one? In the scheme of life, our big decisions are rarely made in a vacuum. Your buying a house may effect the seller buying another house from another seller and so on. Your taking a job affects the next best candidate. Your not taking a job opens up an opportunity for another person. We are all interconnected and there is no simple undo with so many involved.
So, we are left with some oft used expressions--suck it up, move on, get over it. Easy words, yet so difficult to do. And, all the while we'll be pining for an undo.
For the small stuff, there may be some discomfort--an apology, a return trip to the store "no, there's nothing wrong with it. I just changed my mind." But, what about the big stuff? What about when you make a choice in life only to find out that it wasn't the right one? In the scheme of life, our big decisions are rarely made in a vacuum. Your buying a house may effect the seller buying another house from another seller and so on. Your taking a job affects the next best candidate. Your not taking a job opens up an opportunity for another person. We are all interconnected and there is no simple undo with so many involved.
So, we are left with some oft used expressions--suck it up, move on, get over it. Easy words, yet so difficult to do. And, all the while we'll be pining for an undo.
December 9, 2009
I've got some things I'd like to say...
My cats drive me nuts. I have no more room in my head for all of the passwords and pin codes that are needed nowadays. I was just kidding when I was singing "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas." Next year we can just sprinkle flour on the grass. Buying bigger jeans because I finally gained the Freshmen 15 in my last class semester is not a pleasant task. Fluffy socks are my new best friend. Sometimes people are dumb. Not following your heart is a mistake. People who have blogs but never post to them are annoying...I'm talking about myself. Having a blog with no time to post to it is annoying...I'm talking about myself again. This flurry of thoughts is really how my brain works. Youth are incredible people and highly underrated. Thanks for good friends! It's irritating being 5'2.5" b/c I'm too tall for petites and too short for regulars. I stay up all night at least once a week. Putting Christmas lights on the tree is a fine art (perfected by me, taught to me by my mom), but it is a lonely job...the kids don't have patience for it so I just let them do it this year...and, it looks just fine (at least I keep telling myself that). I can't put our van in the garage because there are still bags of leaves in there that we never managed to get to the dump. I love coloring my hair red(ish). I have totally slacked off on school work this semester...thanks to good friends who have covered for me. I am supposed to be finishing our final project right now and am totally procrastinating. I used to sit in the pews waiting for confession and ask God for a sign that she was there when now I know all I need to do is look around me and see God in everything and everyone. I have learned a lot about cultural diversity by making some major mistakes. Sometimes my brain stops working. I love my husband. I can't stand putting laundry away. Christmas songs are great all year round. Since September I have earned a yoga certification, finished (as of tomorrow) 21 college credit hours, worked an average of 35 hours a week as a church youth director, completed 45 hours of field experience with first grade, spent a week researching Zebrafish at Mayo, worked with middle schoolers to implement Zebrafish research in their curriculum, coordinated a parent/child event for the kids' school, taught 6 weeks of swimming lessons to preschoolers, spent the night in a cardboard box, taught 6am fitness classes two/three times a week, and managed to still spend a little time with my husband and children...phew! To be continued...
September 11, 2009
Where were you when...?
Where were you when...? I never thought I'd have one of these. Let me rephrase...I never wanted to have one of these. Growing up I would hear snippets from older family members "Pearl Harbor Day...shocked...JFK killed...crying..." These were shared experiences of an older generation that I wasn't a part of--a club I didn't belong to. And, now I do have a "Where were you when..." Let me rephrase...WE have a "Where were you when...?" We have our own club--a club we wish we didn't belong to.
The numbers 9-1-1 have so much meaning within them. They speak volumes about culture, history, hatred, fear, freedom, pain, division and unity, and humanity. Ask someone "Where were you when...?" or just say those numbers "9/11" and you open the floodgates of memories.
Why do we ask? Why do we feel the need to talk about it? About 6 months post 9/11 I was having lunch with a high school friend I hadn't seen in over 10 years. Within 15 minutes she asked, "Where were you when...?" So great was the need to discuss it we couldn't contain ourselves. We talked about 9/11 for an hour. This was our shared experience. This was healing. We needed to discuss it, to keep it real and alive--something so profound and unbelievable we couldn't not talk about it because we were still convincing ourselves it really happened. And, this scenario played out all across the world, the country--strangers, members of the same club compelled to share.
Our lives, our country, our world--everything we'd known changed that day. People looked at each other differently; for the better and for the worse. People thought about life differently. At eight months of pregnancy I became a magnet for love and emotion..."That life in there is so precious [strange hands on my belly]" and also disdain and fear..."How can you bring a life into this world knowing how horrible it is?" Exactly a month later I labored with my daughter while we watched 9/11 tributes on TV. I admit watching these same visions over and over again made me think...why did we bother with life that could be taken so quickly under such abhorrent circumstances? I couldn't help but think of the the lives lost...children, parents, siblings, friends...why bother, indeed?
You may be saying this type of things happens all over the world on a regular basis and you would be right. This is no less horrific and we should all be aware of the terror of the world and appreciate the freedoms and safety we have. But, 9/11 is our experience. This happened here. our lives were changed. Our histories written and our tied together by three little numbers that mean so much.
So, on this day of remembrance...ask a parent, ask a friend, ask a brother, ask the store cashier, "Where were you when...?" Share in this memory. Relive it. And, most importantly, don't ever forget. For those three numbers belong to all of us.
The numbers 9-1-1 have so much meaning within them. They speak volumes about culture, history, hatred, fear, freedom, pain, division and unity, and humanity. Ask someone "Where were you when...?" or just say those numbers "9/11" and you open the floodgates of memories.
Why do we ask? Why do we feel the need to talk about it? About 6 months post 9/11 I was having lunch with a high school friend I hadn't seen in over 10 years. Within 15 minutes she asked, "Where were you when...?" So great was the need to discuss it we couldn't contain ourselves. We talked about 9/11 for an hour. This was our shared experience. This was healing. We needed to discuss it, to keep it real and alive--something so profound and unbelievable we couldn't not talk about it because we were still convincing ourselves it really happened. And, this scenario played out all across the world, the country--strangers, members of the same club compelled to share.
Our lives, our country, our world--everything we'd known changed that day. People looked at each other differently; for the better and for the worse. People thought about life differently. At eight months of pregnancy I became a magnet for love and emotion..."That life in there is so precious [strange hands on my belly]" and also disdain and fear..."How can you bring a life into this world knowing how horrible it is?" Exactly a month later I labored with my daughter while we watched 9/11 tributes on TV. I admit watching these same visions over and over again made me think...why did we bother with life that could be taken so quickly under such abhorrent circumstances? I couldn't help but think of the the lives lost...children, parents, siblings, friends...why bother, indeed?
You may be saying this type of things happens all over the world on a regular basis and you would be right. This is no less horrific and we should all be aware of the terror of the world and appreciate the freedoms and safety we have. But, 9/11 is our experience. This happened here. our lives were changed. Our histories written and our tied together by three little numbers that mean so much.
So, on this day of remembrance...ask a parent, ask a friend, ask a brother, ask the store cashier, "Where were you when...?" Share in this memory. Relive it. And, most importantly, don't ever forget. For those three numbers belong to all of us.
September 8, 2009
Good-bye may be the most difficult hyphenated word in the dictionary...or, is it two words?
I've said good-bye to many people in my life. I've lived in six different cities and sixteen different homes not including all of the separate places I lived in during college--all spread over three different states. That's a lot of good-byes. For awhile I used to delude myself by only saying "I'll see you around" as if that meant that I really would see them again. Most often this was not the case. And, always, always, always, I did not appreciate the quality and intensity of the relationships I had until I'd moved on and then longed for those people to be back in my life.
Earlier this week I said good-bye to an incredible friend. She moved to another state and I don't begrudge her in any way for making such a big decision...it was the right one and I honor that. It doesn't, however, make the parting any easier knowing it's for noble reasons. I've known my friend for about 4 years. I've had many more friends for much longer than this, but these four years could have been twenty for the quality and substance included within them.
I'll be honest that I don't make friends easily. You may scoff, but the reality is that I am quick to make acquaintances, but close friends are rare...especially female friends. Now, women, don't get offended. I like women, but you are very complex, often dramatic, and many of you have these unwritten rules to friendship that I have a hard time following. Men--most men--are as you see them. It's all out there, grudges are few and far-between, and I know I don't have to worry that you are concerned that I'm wearing white socks with black pants because you don't care. Of course, in both cases this is an exaggeration. My husband abhors my affinity for white socks which is why I now wear them under my black dress socks. Yes, I often wear two pairs of socks--one pair of comfy whites and one pair of dressy black over them. But, I digress...
Then, I meet my friend. She is intelligent, funny, makes mistakes and moves on, accepts and loves my eccentric children, always leaves me in her dust when we walk together, teaches me so much about being true to myself, is a little type-A in the organization and food departments, is a constant cheerleader and supporter (sans pom-poms), helps me jump-start my car, doesn't bat an eye at the smells and chunks of vomit coming out of a child, always knows just the right thing to say and is not afraid to say it, and on, and on, and on.
How could I not adore this person? And, after four years, she moves away. Now, I'm not going to sit here and whine that she left me. (I've already done that...and, it didn't do any good). I'm glad she did. She gets to be closer to family and I get to experience saying good-bye knowing throughout this arduous process how much she means to me; being able to show her and tell her how I feel. I have never done this before. And, to be quite honest, I think it was easier before when I just up and moved without considering the relationships I was leaving. This has been a long and difficult process and I know that there are others going through it with me. We all love our friend and miss her very much. I also know that I didn't handle it exactly as I'd planned. I had weeks to prepare for the good-bye and still didn't manage to get out all the things I wanted to say...how much she means to me, how much she has taught me, how much I appreciate her. But, I did better than I ever have before and I think she knows all of these things without me having to spell them out for her. She's just really smart like that :-)
Now, I realize there are such things as phones and mail--and, these amazing communication tools called email and Facebook. So far she hasn't unfriended me [knock on plastic keyboard]. I admit I am selfish and a little envious of her kids, grandkids, and new community. And, I am also happy for them all. Because I know that she means a lot to me, I am going to work hard to keep in touch (which I've never done before). FB helps me see her pretty mug anytime I wish. And, I get to see how happy she is in her new life with her family close by...and, in a warmer climate ;-)
Life goes on and each day gets a little easier. I smile all the time as I see her everywhere I go...at the lake, in the piles of work and meticulous handwritten notes that she left me, in pictures, and in my children and the children I work with that have benefited from her presence in their lives.
I encourage the hoards of followers reading this (okay, just the three) to take time today to remind someone how much they mean to you. Learn from me...true friends should never be unappreciated. They are so rare.
And, to you, Friend...I miss you...Thank you for all that you have been, all that you are, and all that you will continue to be in my heart and the hearts of all that you have touched here. I know that you are not far...Facebook is just a click away ;-)
Earlier this week I said good-bye to an incredible friend. She moved to another state and I don't begrudge her in any way for making such a big decision...it was the right one and I honor that. It doesn't, however, make the parting any easier knowing it's for noble reasons. I've known my friend for about 4 years. I've had many more friends for much longer than this, but these four years could have been twenty for the quality and substance included within them.
I'll be honest that I don't make friends easily. You may scoff, but the reality is that I am quick to make acquaintances, but close friends are rare...especially female friends. Now, women, don't get offended. I like women, but you are very complex, often dramatic, and many of you have these unwritten rules to friendship that I have a hard time following. Men--most men--are as you see them. It's all out there, grudges are few and far-between, and I know I don't have to worry that you are concerned that I'm wearing white socks with black pants because you don't care. Of course, in both cases this is an exaggeration. My husband abhors my affinity for white socks which is why I now wear them under my black dress socks. Yes, I often wear two pairs of socks--one pair of comfy whites and one pair of dressy black over them. But, I digress...
Then, I meet my friend. She is intelligent, funny, makes mistakes and moves on, accepts and loves my eccentric children, always leaves me in her dust when we walk together, teaches me so much about being true to myself, is a little type-A in the organization and food departments, is a constant cheerleader and supporter (sans pom-poms), helps me jump-start my car, doesn't bat an eye at the smells and chunks of vomit coming out of a child, always knows just the right thing to say and is not afraid to say it, and on, and on, and on.
How could I not adore this person? And, after four years, she moves away. Now, I'm not going to sit here and whine that she left me. (I've already done that...and, it didn't do any good). I'm glad she did. She gets to be closer to family and I get to experience saying good-bye knowing throughout this arduous process how much she means to me; being able to show her and tell her how I feel. I have never done this before. And, to be quite honest, I think it was easier before when I just up and moved without considering the relationships I was leaving. This has been a long and difficult process and I know that there are others going through it with me. We all love our friend and miss her very much. I also know that I didn't handle it exactly as I'd planned. I had weeks to prepare for the good-bye and still didn't manage to get out all the things I wanted to say...how much she means to me, how much she has taught me, how much I appreciate her. But, I did better than I ever have before and I think she knows all of these things without me having to spell them out for her. She's just really smart like that :-)
Now, I realize there are such things as phones and mail--and, these amazing communication tools called email and Facebook. So far she hasn't unfriended me [knock on plastic keyboard]. I admit I am selfish and a little envious of her kids, grandkids, and new community. And, I am also happy for them all. Because I know that she means a lot to me, I am going to work hard to keep in touch (which I've never done before). FB helps me see her pretty mug anytime I wish. And, I get to see how happy she is in her new life with her family close by...and, in a warmer climate ;-)
Life goes on and each day gets a little easier. I smile all the time as I see her everywhere I go...at the lake, in the piles of work and meticulous handwritten notes that she left me, in pictures, and in my children and the children I work with that have benefited from her presence in their lives.
I encourage the hoards of followers reading this (okay, just the three) to take time today to remind someone how much they mean to you. Learn from me...true friends should never be unappreciated. They are so rare.
And, to you, Friend...I miss you...Thank you for all that you have been, all that you are, and all that you will continue to be in my heart and the hearts of all that you have touched here. I know that you are not far...Facebook is just a click away ;-)
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